Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

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Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Banessa on Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:24 pm

This was posted by MJFAN over at the MJHD Forum. I decided to post it here because I think there are some good points to be raised and because it might help us if we are feeling sad/depressed

<blockquote>mjfan said:
The people here who are experiencing extreme emotions of sadness and
grief/depression now that they believe MJ is dead, I wanted to make a
post for those people.

I think something that might help is trying to figure out WHY you
are so sad. This isn't an effort to minimize your grief or say your
feelings aren't real or don't matter, but something that might help
ease some of the pain for some of you is to figure out WHY you are
mourning.

And again when I say that I don't mean “Why are you mourning you
shouldn't be mourning” That's not what I mean at all. I guess a
better way to put it is WHAT are you mourning?

1. Are you mourning the loss to you personally? No new music, no
chance to meet or see MJ again in person, no chance to go to concerts,
no more music videos

2. Are you mourning the loss to the world artistically in general
(same types of things as above, but more of a broader thing than your
personal loss.)

3. Are you mourning your own lost childhood or youth, or your own mortality?

4. Are you mourning the loss of a great humanitarian and example and
the world feels a little bit darker because of that. (If so, you may be
comforted by the idea of MJ being present in spirit and inspiring
others to work to improve their lives and the lives of others.)

5. Are you mourning for the familiy and the kids who lost many years with him?

6. Are you mourning because he was so young?

7. Are you mourning how sad his life became and the fact that it happened right before a big comeback. And it seems unfair?

8. Are you mourning for all of these reasons, or something else entirely?

9. Are you feeling in some way spiritually conflicted because you
don't have all your ducks in a row in that area and the loss of someone
you can't imagine dying has shaken you?

It may be helpful to categorize it. Sort it out. Don't judge your
feelings just feel them and figure out exactly what you're mourning.
Knowing what you're mourning can help you to deal with it and move
forward, hopefully in a positive and non self-destructive way. (i.e.
have you neglected your family, friends, work, personal health for
this?)

There are many ways to address each of these issues of mourning and to move past it and find some peace.

When you figure that out, you can think about what specifically MJ
meant to you, how he inspires you, and what you're going to do with
your own life from this point forward. Are you inspired to become
involved in humanitarian efforts, to enhance your own spirituality
(many have felt a spiritual awakening since June 25th including
myself), to do something creative or artistic.
Maybe you've never done anything creative or artistic before. Maybe
you want to give writing, or dancing, or painting a shot, either for
their therapeutic value, or just to create.

Just some thoughts. Because I feel like there are a lot of people
who have moved to the “MJ is really dead” belief and it probably isn't
very healthy for them to flip flop back and forth. There are some
really loud emotions and i wanted to write a post that might help some
people bring order to the emotional chaos they are experiencing.

I hope someone finds this helpful/comforting.
So do I! I really hope it can help us some how Smile
</blockquote>
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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Guest on Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:50 pm

Im not gonna answer that. I want to keep my reason for mourning to myself.
Somethings are to be kept private

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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Banessa on Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:52 pm

Is not meant for you to answer in public MYbeloved is simply for you to ponder on it! Smile
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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by GirlSaturday on Wed Aug 26, 2009 10:58 pm

Much respect toward those who choose not to answer. It is for many a deeply personal thing to deal with. However I will step forward and acknowledge that my reason for mourning MJ's "death" is a combination of ALL the possible reasons listed.


Last edited by GirlSaturday on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Guest on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:00 pm

Okey. Thanks. I just wanted to say.

Its a good post Banessa

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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Rach on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:00 pm

I am not mourning Michael, and that's not out of disrespect but due to the fact I don't believe he is dead.

If it turns out this isn't a hoax the I will be mourning for the children and the loss that the world has suffered.
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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Banessa on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:06 pm

Rachel wrote:I am not mourning Michael, and that's not out of disrespect but due to the fact I don't believe he is dead.

If it turns out this isn't a hoax the I will be mourning for the children and the loss that the world has suffered.

Girl! I don't believe he is dead either heaven forbid!!! Sad But I sometimes have the roller coaster effect and prioritizing things can help! I just pondered on it! And thinking about why I could be mourning gives me a boost to (Slap myself) and "Say He is alive" I know I probably don't make sense it has been one of those looong days! geek
Sorry! Smile
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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by GirlSaturday on Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:15 pm

I hear ya! I don't like real rollercoasters so this emotional one is especially not fun at all for me.

Banessa wrote:
Rachel wrote:I am not mourning Michael, and that's not out of disrespect but due to the fact I don't believe he is dead.

If it turns out this isn't a hoax the I will be mourning for the children and the loss that the world has suffered.

Girl! I don't believe he is dead either heaven forbid!!! Sad But I sometimes have the roller coaster effect and prioritizing things can help! I just pondered on it! And thinking about why I could be mourning gives me a boost to (Slap myself) and "Say He is alive" I know I probably don't make sense it has been one of those looong days! geek
Sorry! Smile
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Re: Dealing with Grief… Important for distraught people here by mjfan (MJHD)

Post by Jubilee on Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:21 am

I seen this thread on the first forum and find it helpful for when he does die (we all have to die eventually!)

I would agree with everything apart from number 6 coz I hope he will live to a ripe old age Smile xxxx
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