Never the same

I have been doing a lot of thinking since MJ's absence (notice I say absence because i refuse to say death anymore) just curious. Since June 25th, I have been on the website for hoax, I have lost weight, I have been going to bed with MJ on my mind and waking up with MJ on my miind, sneaking on the computer at work to view him or the hoax website, crying off and on., buying every (credible) book or magazine featuring MJ... I have also downloaded nothing but MJ's music (maybe a little bit of Jackson 5 ) but mostly MJ on my ipod . Everyday I listen to nothing but MJ's music,,,,,,,,,,,, when I go to bed I put my earphones/ipod on MJ and fall asleep to him and his soothing voice! I would like to know is this ever going to end for me? I have never in my life been through this I am 35. I have always been crazy about MJ. And just am not willing to accept him being gone. Tell me someone , heck anyone.. how many of you *(a) have lost weight since maybe even developed a little bit of anorexia since MJ gone (b) have gained lots of weight from overeating (c) have become severly depressed to the point where you can barley get through the day or out of bed or function at work (d) only slightly depressed (e) actually get mad at the news or media when there is no break into the investigation of the (supposed ) death of MJ any thing else? DId I miss something. I just was curious. Your thoughts please>.......oh yeah and latly! (f) actually find yourselves getting mad or simply not associating with non-mj believers even family at this point!. Thanks.

This site keeps me going. I need to find the troot!

mjboogie wrote:I have been doing a lot of thinking since MJ's absence (notice I say absence because i refuse to say death anymore) just curious. Since June 25th, I have been on the website for hoax, I have lost weight, I have been going to bed with MJ on my mind and waking up with MJ on my miind, sneaking on the computer at work to view him or the hoax website, crying off and on., buying every (credible) book or magazine featuring MJ... I have also downloaded nothing but MJ's music (maybe a little bit of Jackson 5 ) but mostly MJ on my ipod . Everyday I listen to nothing but MJ's music,,,,,,,,,,,, when I go to bed I put my earphones/ipod on MJ and fall asleep to him and his soothing voice! I would like to know is this ever going to end for me? I have never in my life been through this I am 35. I have always been crazy about MJ. And just am not willing to accept him being gone. Tell me someone , heck anyone.. how many of you *(a) have lost weight since maybe even developed a little bit of anorexia since MJ gone (b) have gained lots of weight from overeating (c) have become severly depressed to the point where you can barley get through the day or out of bed or function at work (d) only slightly depressed (e) actually get mad at the news or media when there is no break into the investigation of the (supposed ) death of MJ any thing else? DId I miss something. I just was curious. Your thoughts please>.......oh yeah and latly! (f) actually find yourselves getting mad or simply not associating with non-mj believers even family at this point!. Thanks.

I've lost like 5lbs since he died. lol but that's just normal for me. As far as being depressed...I kinda was when I actually thought he was dead. I was still able to function and everything though. Now I am happy and waiting for him to return. so I guess I will pick E. Because the media does get on my nerves quite often.

Actually this site has been a God send for me. The people here are very supportive and wondeful! It has made things easier for me.

shasta2001 wrote:Actually this site has been a God send for me. The people here are very supportive and wondeful! It has made things easier for me.

agreed

When I thought he was really gone, I was severely depressed. I was able to function and be a good mom and everything, but there was something missing inside of me and I just couldn't feel like ME anymore. I am 32, so it's a strange feeling to be so all-consumed like this. I haven't felt this way since I was a teenager!

It's only been the last few days when I have really started to believe that he is still with us. You would think that would set me at ease, but it has had the opposite effect. My anxiety seems to have worsened, I can't focus on anything, because nothing seems as important as knowing what happened to him, I feel distracted and edgy and protective. More protective. I never talked about MJ to people because no one in my real life is a fan (except my daughter, but she's 8, so we just talk about how great his music is and how sad it is that he "died". I don't want to confuse her!) but now I'm finding I don't even want to talk to anyone because I know they'd think I was crazy, and even if I have no plans talking to them about MJ, I still feel defensive?? I don't know..

I am also staying up way too late at night - 2 am, 3 am.. researching, reading everything I can find, watching videos, reading tweets.. I feel obsessed. I don't like this feeling, but I'm hoping it eases with time? I feel full of new hope and new energy, but at the same time, I feel wary because I don't want to find out I'm wrong. But it just hasn't felt right from the beginning. It just always seemed a bit "off" to me. I'm trying to go with my gut.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I can empathize.

@mjboogie My Ipod also full of MJ and I'm online as often as I can and weight is on!

Actually I have a theory- the reason we can't let go of HIM is because HE won't let go of us...yep from the once-upon-a-time fans, to the faithful, the hardcore and the crazies. HE's not letting go - its a spiritual, twilight zone, rainbow connection kind of thing AND its coming from HIM.

My answers:

50% a
50% c

How I see myself: almost obsessed with searching for "da troot" of what really happened to Michael Jackson.
If he is dead I want justice NOW.
If he is alive I want him out NOW or at least a video of him as Murray did. Just the REAL MJ saying worldwide that he is ok somewhere and he needs time.
That would make me happy

I need to go on with my liiiiifeeeeee.

My latest hobbies are to study and investigate MJ death and it suck at times

I feel exactly like you, can not get him off my mind ! listen to his music all the time. Can not talk to any one about him, everyone just rolls thier eyes at the mention of his name. I have felt totally obsessed. Sometimes i feel as though he has passed but then I just can't get all the strange things surrounding his death off my mind. Just trying to keep the faith.

the reasons we cant let go,michael is holding on to us,he left messages no mistakes as some say . those MESSAGES were left for a reason .michael needs our help ,for whatever it is made him do this ,and when he returns he will be stronger than ever why because we have all joined michaels army,we are willing to let him lead us, why because we believe in michael jackson we will always believe no matter what,call me crazy i just dont care any more i just know what i know ,michael is alive and guiding us

SPAKKLE29FUL wrote:the reasons we cant let go,michael is holding on to us,he left messages no mistakes as some say . those MESSAGES were left for a reason .michael needs our help ,for whatever it is made him do this ,and when he returns he will be stronger than ever why because we have all joined michaels army,we are willing to let him lead us, why because we believe in michael jackson we will always believe no matter what,call me crazy i just dont care any more i just know what i know ,michael is alive and guiding us

I would like to feel as you do hun.

The truth in my case is that I have too much free time some days and my imagination to find other things to focus is just limitated. And yes, I am obsessed with the subject. I can´t let it go. Even if I stay one week away from it, I always feel curious about the subject and soon or later I come back to snoop and read new ideas supporting the wish that he could come back and tell the world that he is alive.

One way or the other, I know that is not helpful or positive for me but here I am expending one hour a day reading posts.