I lost it!
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darkfeather
rowdyangel
hungry
7 posters
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I lost it!
by Guest Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:08 pm
How long am I suppose to endure? I dont think I can. I have too, I know that, but I finally reached my limit. I feel empty inside, completely broken. Michael took a part of my soul with him, I cant imagine my life without him.
I Had stopped throwing up, but it started again, after Latoyas interwiev Friday, it affects me deeply, because my body was just starting to coap, and I was finally able to listen to Michaels songs again, now I cant. I already lost over 40 punds. Now its all back to the way it was before. I cant keep anything down, Im crying nonstop. I dont watch the news, Ive started to turn off the radio again, whenever they are playing one of his songs. It hurts to much to listen to it. I belive that he is alive, but why does it hurt so damn much then?
Im really in pain. It is that kinda pain, where you cant explain it, you can just feel it.
Im going crazy not knowing where he is. Is he safe? Is someone there with him? Is God protecting him?
I dont know what to do anymore, I feel so lost. The pain is unbeareble. Michael is so much more to me then just a "great singer". I love him more than words can say. I need to fight to get better, I know that, but its pretty damn hard, when I dont know, where he is.
What made him do this? How did it come so far, that he needed to hoax his own "death" to get his life back on track? Who was out to hurt him? Is he in danger?
Who would hurt an Angel?
I dont get it, NOTHING adds up, NOTHING at all.
I Had stopped throwing up, but it started again, after Latoyas interwiev Friday, it affects me deeply, because my body was just starting to coap, and I was finally able to listen to Michaels songs again, now I cant. I already lost over 40 punds. Now its all back to the way it was before. I cant keep anything down, Im crying nonstop. I dont watch the news, Ive started to turn off the radio again, whenever they are playing one of his songs. It hurts to much to listen to it. I belive that he is alive, but why does it hurt so damn much then?
Im really in pain. It is that kinda pain, where you cant explain it, you can just feel it.
Im going crazy not knowing where he is. Is he safe? Is someone there with him? Is God protecting him?
I dont know what to do anymore, I feel so lost. The pain is unbeareble. Michael is so much more to me then just a "great singer". I love him more than words can say. I need to fight to get better, I know that, but its pretty damn hard, when I dont know, where he is.
What made him do this? How did it come so far, that he needed to hoax his own "death" to get his life back on track? Who was out to hurt him? Is he in danger?
Who would hurt an Angel?
I dont get it, NOTHING adds up, NOTHING at all.
Guest- Guest
Re: I lost it!
by hungry Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:16 pm
Aww MBMJ! Only the evilest of all evil people can harm an angel like Michael, and trust me, they WILL get their karma. And it won't be something small.
It takes a lot of faith and patience to believe in something without solid proof - like how millions of people believe that there is a God. Some don't believe there is one, and they even make fun of the people who believe in it. We have to hang on until our fingers fall off. It's going to seem like the longest ride ever, but in the end it will be more than worth it. In the end, we can say, "Look, we've known believed in the truth all along! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
It takes a lot of faith and patience to believe in something without solid proof - like how millions of people believe that there is a God. Some don't believe there is one, and they even make fun of the people who believe in it. We have to hang on until our fingers fall off. It's going to seem like the longest ride ever, but in the end it will be more than worth it. In the end, we can say, "Look, we've known believed in the truth all along! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
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Re: I lost it!
by rowdyangel Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:24 pm
Hugs and lots of love coming your way MBMJ. It is VERY hard, a rollercoaster ride, up and down, fast then slow, and it's been like this since 25 June.
I too am starting to struggle. I so wish that Michael would come back or at least give us a sign that he is safe, a sign that only his true fans will recognise.
I also wish I knew why he has had to do this. It must be something so immense, something we are perhaps not capable of understanding just yet. I am sure that if he could, he would let us know.
Bless you honey. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love
I too am starting to struggle. I so wish that Michael would come back or at least give us a sign that he is safe, a sign that only his true fans will recognise.
I also wish I knew why he has had to do this. It must be something so immense, something we are perhaps not capable of understanding just yet. I am sure that if he could, he would let us know.
Bless you honey. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love
rowdyangel- Gold Member
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Re: I lost it!
by darkfeather Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:30 pm
Don't know why he set up his death exactly, but I'm sure he is safe and sound. Look at the family, do they look worried? They look so relaxed and it is a very close family. If there was really something to be worried about they would show it.
darkfeather- Bronze Member
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Re: I lost it!
by mommy Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:31 pm
Sweetie.
What can I say or do to make you feel better? I am so so so sorry to read how you feel and not be able to comfort you.
I was about to write in another tread when I saw your post - and what I was about to write was SORRY. I am so sorry on behalf of mankind that we can be so insensitive and push another human being so far to the limit that they have to vanish.
I keep hearing "Just tell them that it's human nature - move a letter or two and we're at human IMature. What's happening?
As a fan you have been as supportive as possible, but the "public" opinion has been far from that.
Can you imagine living a life for 45 years where everything you do (or dont do) is commented on? You try your best to be good, but its not seen. You push yourself further to do better - its still not seen. Only when you seem to have made a mistake, you're noticed.
I know excatly how you feel. When I first heard the news I could not imagine that my life could continue. I was i so much pain (my 9 year old son was worried about me), but I have found relief in this forum. Believe with me. MICHAEL IS ALIVE. He is doing much better now. He is out of the spotlight and can live the life he so longed to live.
I know we are discussing back and forth that he wanted everything to be perfect and believe me - it is. If all the plans that Jermaine is making were working out like a pearl on a string - we would wonder. Things have to fail in order to keep the disguise.
Stay strong. Come here for comfort - I will do what I can to help you through, but dont you ever give up hope.
What can I say or do to make you feel better? I am so so so sorry to read how you feel and not be able to comfort you.
I was about to write in another tread when I saw your post - and what I was about to write was SORRY. I am so sorry on behalf of mankind that we can be so insensitive and push another human being so far to the limit that they have to vanish.
I keep hearing "Just tell them that it's human nature - move a letter or two and we're at human IMature. What's happening?
As a fan you have been as supportive as possible, but the "public" opinion has been far from that.
Can you imagine living a life for 45 years where everything you do (or dont do) is commented on? You try your best to be good, but its not seen. You push yourself further to do better - its still not seen. Only when you seem to have made a mistake, you're noticed.
I know excatly how you feel. When I first heard the news I could not imagine that my life could continue. I was i so much pain (my 9 year old son was worried about me), but I have found relief in this forum. Believe with me. MICHAEL IS ALIVE. He is doing much better now. He is out of the spotlight and can live the life he so longed to live.
I know we are discussing back and forth that he wanted everything to be perfect and believe me - it is. If all the plans that Jermaine is making were working out like a pearl on a string - we would wonder. Things have to fail in order to keep the disguise.
Stay strong. Come here for comfort - I will do what I can to help you through, but dont you ever give up hope.
mommy- Silver Member
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Re: I lost it!
by Guest Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:39 pm
Thank you so much guys, for all you`re love and support. You are really helping me fight this, I dont know where I would be right now, if it werent for you.
@ Mommy you just helped me alot. You asked me what you could do to make me feel better, just asking helps. I really wish I could tell Michael in person how I feel. I wish he could read this, to see how Much he is loved.
I have writen a poem for Michael, Its very private, and its how I see him. Its hard for me to write it in here, but I kinda feel like I have to do it. Since im not able to give it to Michael, I will write it in here, for you to read, and mabye find compford. Thats the least I can do, since you have been so good to me. Mabye this will show you, how much I love him
Here it is:
Just a little boy, a gift from above
His beautiful face shown with God's love
The boy would sing and he would dance for his dear old dad
Make no mistakes or he'll make daddy mad
A belt or a switch it didn't matter at all
Get every step right, he knew not to stumble or fall
When he sang, his voice would ride on the wind
No time for play, he had not one-single friend
He'd sing and he'd sing until his heart was content
And he'd dance and he'd dance until his day was well spent
His comfort was his music and his music became his rage
He longed for the enjoyment of what boys did at his age
When the spotlight hit him, he'd sing for the crowde
And when he was done he knew he did his daddy proud
My little boy has grown into a man
recieved a letter each day claiming "I'm your biggest fan."
Unfortunate children, he took them into his heart
The suffering in their eyes would tear him apart
He'd hold them close and he gave them all he could give
Helped a sick little boy and now that sick boy will live
Such a wonderful man with a beautiful soul
Saving the world, he made it his goal
Then one day the worked marked him with shame
The hatred in their speeches they'd slander his name
With his head down, he walked through the crowed
He cried alone in his pillow, he never cried out loud
The world turned its back, he fell all alone
Calls from reporters, he'd recieve on the phone
He didn't choose this oh so saddened fate
In this world filled with oh so much hate
They'd call him strange because he was a little boy at heart
They mocked and they ridiculed while pulling him apart
He stayed strong while trying to redeem his name
But the world didn't care, they still treated him the same
Anything for the tabloids a hot topic for the news
No compassion for that little boy who once was abused
Through it all his face would still shine with God's love
Thank you Lord for sending to me this angel from up above
@ Mommy you just helped me alot. You asked me what you could do to make me feel better, just asking helps. I really wish I could tell Michael in person how I feel. I wish he could read this, to see how Much he is loved.
I have writen a poem for Michael, Its very private, and its how I see him. Its hard for me to write it in here, but I kinda feel like I have to do it. Since im not able to give it to Michael, I will write it in here, for you to read, and mabye find compford. Thats the least I can do, since you have been so good to me. Mabye this will show you, how much I love him
Here it is:
Just a little boy, a gift from above
His beautiful face shown with God's love
The boy would sing and he would dance for his dear old dad
Make no mistakes or he'll make daddy mad
A belt or a switch it didn't matter at all
Get every step right, he knew not to stumble or fall
When he sang, his voice would ride on the wind
No time for play, he had not one-single friend
He'd sing and he'd sing until his heart was content
And he'd dance and he'd dance until his day was well spent
His comfort was his music and his music became his rage
He longed for the enjoyment of what boys did at his age
When the spotlight hit him, he'd sing for the crowde
And when he was done he knew he did his daddy proud
My little boy has grown into a man
recieved a letter each day claiming "I'm your biggest fan."
Unfortunate children, he took them into his heart
The suffering in their eyes would tear him apart
He'd hold them close and he gave them all he could give
Helped a sick little boy and now that sick boy will live
Such a wonderful man with a beautiful soul
Saving the world, he made it his goal
Then one day the worked marked him with shame
The hatred in their speeches they'd slander his name
With his head down, he walked through the crowed
He cried alone in his pillow, he never cried out loud
The world turned its back, he fell all alone
Calls from reporters, he'd recieve on the phone
He didn't choose this oh so saddened fate
In this world filled with oh so much hate
They'd call him strange because he was a little boy at heart
They mocked and they ridiculed while pulling him apart
He stayed strong while trying to redeem his name
But the world didn't care, they still treated him the same
Anything for the tabloids a hot topic for the news
No compassion for that little boy who once was abused
Through it all his face would still shine with God's love
Thank you Lord for sending to me this angel from up above
Last edited by MyBelovedMJ on Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
Guest- Guest
Re: I lost it!
by marsheliamorgan Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:40 pm
I am so sorry on behalf of mankind that we can be so insensitive and push another human being so far to the limit that they have to vanish.
I keep hearing "Just tell them that it's human nature - move a letter or two and we're at human IMature. What's happening?
As a fan you have been as supportive as possible, but the "public" opinion has been far from that.
Can you imagine living a life for 45 years where everything you do (or dont do) is commented on? You try your best to be good, but its not seen. You push yourself further to do better - its still not seen. Only when you seem to have made a mistake, you're noticed.
so well put,believe me,its killing me,i cantthink of anything else,i try to function and just put on foot in front of the other,but,its like nothing makes sense anymore,if someone this good,and pure of heart could be beaten down to this point,whats to save us?i am at the point,i have grieved so much,i cant cry anymore,i didnt know one person could have that many tears,and if we could see the end in sight,and know the truth was coming it would help,i wish i could be there to give u a great big hug and tell you it will get better,and with all these heads together we will find SOMETHING out i just wish i could tell you it will sooner rather than later.i am sorry for your pain,if there is anything i can do,please dont hesitate to ask,and iknow watching these interviews with toya and the others is REALLY painful,especialy janets try to keep your chin up and keep fighting luv,somehting good and truthful has to come out of this long hard fight
I keep hearing "Just tell them that it's human nature - move a letter or two and we're at human IMature. What's happening?
As a fan you have been as supportive as possible, but the "public" opinion has been far from that.
Can you imagine living a life for 45 years where everything you do (or dont do) is commented on? You try your best to be good, but its not seen. You push yourself further to do better - its still not seen. Only when you seem to have made a mistake, you're noticed.
so well put,believe me,its killing me,i cantthink of anything else,i try to function and just put on foot in front of the other,but,its like nothing makes sense anymore,if someone this good,and pure of heart could be beaten down to this point,whats to save us?i am at the point,i have grieved so much,i cant cry anymore,i didnt know one person could have that many tears,and if we could see the end in sight,and know the truth was coming it would help,i wish i could be there to give u a great big hug and tell you it will get better,and with all these heads together we will find SOMETHING out i just wish i could tell you it will sooner rather than later.i am sorry for your pain,if there is anything i can do,please dont hesitate to ask,and iknow watching these interviews with toya and the others is REALLY painful,especialy janets try to keep your chin up and keep fighting luv,somehting good and truthful has to come out of this long hard fight
marsheliamorgan- Platinum Member
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Re: I lost it!
by marsheliamorgan Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:44 pm
MBMJ, that is AN AWESOME poem,you are so creative and talented,and this is truly heartfelt,you can tell,and you understand his pain,alot more than most of the world,my heart cries when i read this,its amazing,absoltuly beautiful,you hold yourself together,cause we are gonna need another amazing poem when we find out the truth,warm hugs,and eskimo kisses,god bless you
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Re: I lost it!
by mommy Sun Sep 13, 2009 1:51 pm
I LOVE YOUR POEM. ITS BEAUTIFUL. 
We are all in this together and we will stick together.
Let me buy you some time.
It's too soon for Michael to come out of hiding. He needs more time. And if we also lean towards Annies theory - the investigation needs more time as well. How will their investigation look if Michael now all of a sudden comes out and says "peek a boo" LOL.
We are all in this together and we will stick together.
Let me buy you some time.
It's too soon for Michael to come out of hiding. He needs more time. And if we also lean towards Annies theory - the investigation needs more time as well. How will their investigation look if Michael now all of a sudden comes out and says "peek a boo" LOL.
mommy- Silver Member
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Re: I lost it!
by hungry Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:35 pm
You're very welcome! We love you too
And your poem is beyond brilliant, but I don't think it's anywhere close to how you feel about Michael.
It fills me with so much joy whenever to read your posts about how much you love him.
And your poem is beyond brilliant, but I don't think it's anywhere close to how you feel about Michael.
It fills me with so much joy whenever to read your posts about how much you love him.
hungry- Platinum Member
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Re: I lost it!
by rowdyangel Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:38 pm
Beautiful poem MBMJ. Michael would be very touched to read that I am sure.
And Mommy is right, we are all in this TOGETHER!! We need to keep ourselves strong for Michael because WHEN he does come back, he will need our love and support more than ever.
I love each and every one of you with all of my heart. Be strong and together we will come through this. Michael knows how much we love him
And Mommy is right, we are all in this TOGETHER!! We need to keep ourselves strong for Michael because WHEN he does come back, he will need our love and support more than ever.
I love each and every one of you with all of my heart. Be strong and together we will come through this. Michael knows how much we love him
rowdyangel- Gold Member
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Re: I lost it!
by NikkiKat22 Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:44 pm
I wish I could help you. I know when I'm missing him deeply I write him a letter. After I write, I either, roll the letter and put it in a balloon,and send it to heaven. so maybe the good lord can help bring Michael back to us faster or just to make sure Michael is safe. One night after I wrote a letter and then I put scented oil on it, tore it up. I went outside. It just happened to be a windy night. I let the pieces fly away. You know what, the next morning I went outside to look for piece that fell. I couldn't find any. I believe they went up to heaven so God, herd what I was saying about missing Michael and needing to make sure he is safe. So maybe you could write a letter to Michael and let it fly away. I hope I made sense.
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Re: I lost it!
by Guest Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:46 pm
hungry wrote:You're very welcome! We love you too
And your poem is beyond brilliant, but I don't think it's anywhere close to how you feel about Michael.
It fills me with so much joy whenever to read your posts about how much you love him.
Thanks. I take that as a compliment. But you are right. My love for Michael cant be put into words. Atleast I tryed
Guest- Guest
Re: I lost it!
by Guest Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:49 pm
charmed6 wrote:I wish I could help you. I know when I'm missing him deeply I write him a letter. After I write, I either, roll the letter and put it in a balloon,and send it to heaven. so maybe the good lord can help bring Michael back to us faster or just to make sure Michael is safe. One night after I wrote a letter and then I put scented oil on it, tore it up. I went outside. It just happened to be a windy night. I let the pieces fly away. You know what, the next morning I went outside to look for piece that fell. I couldn't find any. I believe they went up to heaven so God, herd what I was saying about missing Michael and needing to make sure he is safe. So maybe you could write a letter to Michael and let it fly away. I hope I made sense.
I have wrote tons of letters to Michael so far, kinda like a journal. But Im keeping them with me. Who knows, mabye I will get the chance to give them to him, some day.
Guest- Guest
Re: I lost it!
by Dora Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:14 pm
I know that it is very difficult for all what happens but now more than ever we must be united by him, to continue defending it of the vultures harass that it and to give him to forces and spirits with our immense and indestructible love. He taught many things to us but among them to resist and if they do not think everything what had to live and conesa was always for us sonrisaadorable that us ilumuna like a sun. Now it is time to give back all that to him that it gave us. Please they do not abndonen the boat that needs us to the captain to all together ones. I know that from some place Michael ysi is following us sees that we also do not put bad is going away to feel thus. I know that it is difficult but nonimpossible. Everything is by our Peter Pan.
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Re: I lost it!
by Guest Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:17 pm
Dora wrote:I know that it is very difficult for all what happens but now more than ever we must be united by him, to continue defending it of the vultures harass that it and to give him to forces and spirits with our immense and indestructible love. He taught many things to us but among them to resist and if they do not think everything what had to live and conesa was always for us sonrisaadorable that us ilumuna like a sun. Now it is time to give back all that to him that it gave us. Please they do not abndonen the boat that needs us to the captain to all together ones. I know that from some place Michael ysi is following us sees that we also do not put bad is going away to feel thus. I know that it is difficult but nonimpossible. Everything is by our Peter Pan.
Trust me on this, I would NEVER turn my back on Michael NEVER. Ive always defended him, and supportet him, and I always will. Whenever he needs me I´ll be there.
Guest- Guest
Re: I lost it!
by Dora Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:25 pm
I know it, I create to you for that reason we are all to help it here in which we pruned but although it is to us very difficult we must try to be strong by and for him. Somebody said that we are its army of love and that is truth only that our unique weapon is our love by him. And as far as becoming thin the step passes the opposite me eating and already I seem a globe, soon is going to me to be easier to roll than to walk jajaja.
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Re: I lost it!
by Dora Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:29 pm
I hope that something of everything is understood what I wrote because as I do not know English I have it to use a translator and sometimes it does not say what I want. Pardon if some things are not understood.
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Re: I lost it!
by Guest Sun Sep 13, 2009 4:01 pm
Im the one who said that we are his "army of love" and we are 
Guest- Guest
Re: I lost it!
by Dora Sun Sep 13, 2009 4:12 pm
Ah eras you, good that just then. Sometimes the grandma Dora forgets the things or a little is confused is that the age saw does not come single. jajaja
This photo took me this morning, I am not seen well?
This photo took me this morning, I am not seen well?
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