After 4 months This is it...an open letter to MJ! :)

Michael...Michael were art thou? It has been more than four months since my life was shaken up. I would have never thought...the Morning of June 25th, 2009 would've had this much impact in my life. I remember driving to work on a sunny L.A. morning when all of a sudden out of nowhere the thought of you came into my mind. I began to wonder why had there not been recent news or reports about you lately. I dismissed my thoughts telling myself the reason for this had to be you were okay...after all bad news travel fast!

I wish and I regret with all my heart having thought about you at all. Because later in the day my world was shaken and since then I have found it hard to move on and to not think about you every single day! I am not a deranged fan who is only obsessed with you lol but I am a fan who loves you and I am determined in finding out the truth about what happened to you on that Thursday afternoon!

After seeing "This is it" I can clearly see it is definitely not it! My heart tells me there is more..but just how much more and for when it's something that only you can decide. You have given us so much through your music and have shared your passion and love for others through your dreams. The least I can do is stand by you and wait patiently until....BAM! You decide your next move. You are in control

My heart is now at ease because I know you are ALIVE and that is all that really matters. I'm not going to lie the selfish person in me wants and would LOVE to have you back in any way, shape or form lol As long as you are back and I know your safe I will be the happiest person alive! You don't even have to perform or anything just pop out of your house once in a while and wave just to let us know you are okay and HAPPY...lol that's all!

It's now the beginning of November and My best friends are a 20oz cup of Joe and my laptop which is probably wondering why? I have not given her a rest in 4 months. lol I am on the verge of having my family, friends and co-workers staging an immediate intervention session to help me deal with what they believe to be "Thoughts of delusion" I am telling you they've even managed to have me fitted for the straight jacket! I have never been one to just go with the flow opinion wise. I have been blessed with a brain, logic and I like to think I even have a little common sense, which is why I do my own thinking and like to arrive to my own conclusions. I know how to feed myself and I don't need the media and others to spoon feed me what I should believe! They believe you "died" I believe your ALIVE!!!

Any person with a little bit of commons sense and logic can see that nothing and I do mean nothing that has happened since June 25th makes any sense at all. Starting with the delayed and weird 911 call to the "burial" 70 days later, Murray not being arrested even after confessing to have "administered" a substance and all the inconsistencies in the stories. Why others don't seem to notice this or don't' even care to question anything is beyond me...Oh! and crazy Harvey and his TMZ staff always having the exclusive about everything Humm? (Brick man willingly or not really?)

All I Know is that this is all part of your plan! I must be patient I know, but if you must know, I will let you in on a little secret...Patience and I don't get along lol But for you I am willing to endure it. I heard your message LOUD and CLEAR and I will continue to do all I can to make this world a better place not only for me but for all human kind! I will now stock up on more coffee and pray that I just make it on time to work every day! lol Because I am in it with you for the long run all the way...By your side! Whether it rains or shines I am proud to say I am part of your army of LOVE!

I truly LOVE you more than ever if that is possible and I know the day will come when my heart will once again be warm and overflowing with so much joy! In the mean time whatever you do and wherever you are stay SAFE my sweetest Peter Pan! Je t'aime plus!

banessa,i love this letter,truly heartfelt,you are a gifted writer god bless

That was very nice! You expressed my feelings very well! THANK YOU Banessa!!

@Banessa That was amazing!

ARMY OF LOVE!!

That is what we are. That can be our new slogan.

Thank you! You are all very sweet and kind with your words. I am glad I was able to convey a little of what some of us are feeling at the moment. CantStopLovingU, you are right we are his army of LOVE and we should make it our slogan!
Anyone need extra dose of caffeine let me know I have pleanty to go around! lol

@Banessa enjoyed your letter and loved 'the army of love'!

You made me laugh, Banessa, thank you -

yes, brewing some more coffee, reaching out for the sugar and while thinking of Michael pouring that hot sweet stuff over my hands and trousers just in order to wanting to get it over to my vis-à-vis to make his day with an extra...

L.O.V.E. is the sweetest thing we can ever imagine and it's miracle and yes Michael, I just want you to giggle and be fine...