I'm really worried i can't do this anymore :(

by Rach Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:30 pm

Hey Guys,

I am so sorry for such a bring down topic but I need to get this out.

I don't think I can do this anymore. Today has been so draining for me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am usually a very strong person and don't get upset too easily but over the last few days I have been so incredibly low. I think I am spending way too much time on here and I try not to come on but I keep been drawn back.

I am tired of certain members constant jibs to other people and it seems the further we get into this the less it becomes about Michael and finding out the truth but more about us and our petty arguments.

I am so sorry for posting and bringing everyone down and I know it's crazy hard right now but I am hoping you guys will be able to lift my spirits before I try and get some much needed sleep.

Thank you.

by EarthAngel90 Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:34 pm

Rachel - you have been the backbone of this forum and gave courage for many of us to keep on continuing to find the truth - Don't Give Up !!!! You keep on doing what you do - we continue to support you and we got your back - no doubt .. K?!!! Take a break if you need to !

by Guest Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:35 pm

Rachel

I completely understand, sweetie!! Did you receive my PM??

we love you rach!! you're the best!!
ds

by Give.In.To.Me Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:38 pm

Rachel, keep up the faith. We all become totally drained. About 1 week ago I felt just like you do, what really helped me was a really good nights sleep(14 hours to be exact) and a good 2 days away from the site to recharge. I came back rested and well and with a fresh outlook. Emotions run extremely high especially when we are not sleeping properly, I hope you will be able to take some time(not too much Very Happy

) and rest up. Let's continue on together...at least for a little while longer. I also find it especially helpful to only allow a certain amount of time for MJ investigating rather than ALL my time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUswfxAkLME

by Sweet1 Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:50 pm

Rachel sweetie,
I PM you. Keep the Faith!

by annieisnotokey Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:51 pm

@Rachel
Don't worry honey, we all have our good and bad days.
Take some time off, clear your mind & regain your strength.
We'll be here waiting for you when you are ready.

I'm really worried i can't do this anymore :( Hugs05

I'm really worried i can't do this anymore :( Hugs05

by NikkiKat22 Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:53 pm

For the last couple of days you and everyone else have been telling me to keep faith and be strong. Now it's my turn. If you need a break, take a break Michael does not want us getting sick over him. join us again in a few days. I promise we will nice to one another. Very Happy

PM anytime! My computer is always on. And remember You are not alone.

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
That You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Ohh, Whisper three words and I'll come runnin', and I,
And girl you know that I'll be there!
I'll be there!

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

(For you are not alone) You are not alone
(For I am here with you) I am here with you
(Though you're far away) Though you're far away
(I am here to stay) You and me
(You are not alone)You are Always in my heart!
(For I am here with you)
(Though we're far apart)
(You're always in my heart)
(You are not alone) You are not alone oh!

You are not alone, you are not alone.
Say it again, you are not alone, you are not alone.
Not alone, Not alone!
You just reach out for me girl in the morning in the evenin'
Not alone, not alone, you and me, not alone, Oh!
Together, together,
God done being alone, god done being alone.
You believe in me, god done livin' alone
God done livin' alone, god done livin' alone
Not alone oh!

by Rach Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:56 pm

Thank you so much guys, I really appreciate it.

DS Honey, I never received your PM for some reason and sweet1 I just replied to you.

GITM - Thank you so much for the link to the song. It's so beautiful and made me smile so thank you very much.

I think I am going to try and take a break from here for a few days and get my head around a few things. I need fresh air and the company of another person - not that I don't love spending time with you guys! If you don't see me about please don't think that I have left you because that's not the case. I just feel like after 2 solid months of this I need some "me" time and then I can come back stronger than ever.

You are an incredible bunch of people and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You have made me smile when I was feeling grumpy, laugh when I was feeling detered and kept me strong when I was feeling weak. You don't know blessed I feel to be able to call you friends and have the privilege of been able to get to know you. I can never thank you enough Smile

Much love xoxo

by mjthelegendlives Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:00 pm

Rachel, I know this is hard. You've been doing a wonderful job trying to control the forum. I fully understand you and yes it can be draining. Maybe you should take a break if you need too. Dont let the constant whining bring you down Rach...like I said before you've done an excellent job. Rest for a while, then return and continue your great work. Remember...this is for MJ Smile

... feel better soon, hon. Hugs

by Guest Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:13 pm

Sweetheart! You know you got a friend in me right?? PM Me, anytime, or call my name and Ill be there.

It will only take me a few hours to fly out to you.

I dont like seeing you this way, you have been so good to me, you deserve to be happy. Michael wants you to be smile and be happy.

Dont give up Babe, I love you.

You`re friend

Charlie

by NikkiKat22 Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:20 pm

MyBelovedMJ wrote:Sweetheart! You know you got a friend in me right?? PM Me, anytime, or call my name and Ill be there.

It will only take me a few hours to fly out to you.

I dont like seeing you this way, you have been so good to me, you deserve to be happy. Michael wants you to be smile and be happy.

Dont give up Babe, I love you.

You`re friend

Charlie

My word. How do you do it. You must be a guardian angel sent from heaven to help us. I have never in my life seen or met someone who cares about people like you do. You are truly a gift from god. Don't ever change. You a loved by many.

Loved by me,xoxo

Nikki I love you

by Guest Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:29 pm

charmed6 wrote:
MyBelovedMJ wrote:Sweetheart! You know you got a friend in me right?? PM Me, anytime, or call my name and Ill be there.

It will only take me a few hours to fly out to you.

I dont like seeing you this way, you have been so good to me, you deserve to be happy. Michael wants you to be smile and be happy.

Dont give up Babe, I love you.

You`re friend

Charlie

My word. How do you do it. You must be a guardian angel sent from heaven to help us. I have never in my life seen or met someone who cares about people like you do. You are truly a gift from god. Don't ever change. You a loved by many.

Loved by me,xoxo

Nikki

@Charmed6

Are you talking about me??

by NikkiKat22 Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:34 pm

MyBelovedMJ wrote:
charmed6 wrote:
MyBelovedMJ wrote:Sweetheart! You know you got a friend in me right?? PM Me, anytime, or call my name and Ill be there.

It will only take me a few hours to fly out to you.

I dont like seeing you this way, you have been so good to me, you deserve to be happy. Michael wants you to be smile and be happy.

Dont give up Babe, I love you.

You`re friend

Charlie

My word. How do you do it. You must be a guardian angel sent from heaven to help us. I have never in my life seen or met someone who cares about people like you do. You are truly a gift from god. Don't ever change. You a loved by many.

Loved by me,xoxo

Nikki

@Charmed6

Are you talking about me??

Yes, You care so much about people.

by Banessa Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:35 pm

Rachel don't worry about anything! I know how drainfull this could be. Specially when you have a thousand more things to do. You have been very helpful and nice since the beginning (MJHD) and if you feel taking a break will help than you should take one. I think the most important thing is that you do what ever you think is best to take care of yourself and be healthy.

We don't want a sick Rachel around the forum, we need a strong and healthy Rachel to put is in our place when we need to and to make us smile as well! (Gold pants needs you girl!)lol Besides I'm sure that you will feel fresher and with renewed energy to continue to take on the trolls and the media! lol Remember is all for Michael and he needs you strong and healthy Very Happy

Take care Sweets we all love and support you! Smile

by Guest Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:40 pm

Charmed6

I cannot believe that you called me "A Guardian Angel" Noone have ever called me that before.

It went right into my heart.
Im stunned, I cant believe it.
I cant find words.
I didnt know, someone could feel this way about me.
Im crying. Sad

It has been a long time, since Ive felt so much love from someone.

Im not an Angel. It has to be the sweetest thing Ive ever been called. OH MY GOD

Do you have any idea what this means to me?

Its in my heart to help people, Ive always been this way, ever since I was a small child.

I remember my mother once said to me:" Sweetie, You cannot save the whole world"

Because I always talked about adopting all the sick, and homeless children in the world.

by CharlieBarley Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:12 pm

Hi Rachel,

You can keep going, a break is all you need. Although I don't post a lot, I do come here everyday to see what is happening. Since 25th June I have been on MJHD everyday and since finding this site I have done the same.

It is easy to spend a lot of time here, but I to have been trying to drag myself away from it for the last week or two as it does take over life. I had a few down days last week where I kept crying for MJ again. When I come back on here it really does help. But if you need time out you have to take it.

I have kept really busy the last couple of days with other things and feel much better for it.

A break will do you good, and I am sure you will be back and raring to go again in a few days time.

As I have already said Rachel your a wonderful person I can tell with all the support you have given here, you have done a great job!

Also to everyone else here, I think your all a lovely bunch too, and I love to read all your opinions and work. Big hugs to all !!!

by NikkiKat22 Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:20 pm

MyBelovedMJ wrote:Charmed6

I cannot believe that you called me "A Guardian Angel" Noone have ever called me that before.

It went right into my heart.
Im stunned, I cant believe it.
I cant find words.
I didnt know, someone could feel this way about me.
Im crying.

It has been a long time, since Ive felt so much love from someone.

Im not an Angel. It has to be the sweetest thing Ive ever been called. OH MY GOD

Do you have any idea what this means to me?

Its in my heart to help people, Ive always been this way, ever since I was a small child.

I remember my mother once said to me:" Sweetie, You cannot save the whole world"

Because I always talked about adopting all the sick, and homeless children in the world.

I beg to differ. Your my guardian angel. You have been there for me,when my own family hasn't been, I have lost friend because of what I'm doing. When I feel powerless and helpless, like my backs up against a wall and I'm being pulled into the media, your always right there to pull me back. so yes I believe your an angel. and I bet a lot of other do to. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. O and about the part where you can't save the whole world, But you can try. I'll be right here to help! Say the word, I'll come running!

by Guest Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:42 pm

@Charmed6

Seriously!! Im lost for words.

by NikkiKat22 Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:47 pm

MyBelovedMJ wrote:@Charmed6

Seriously!! Im lost for words.

You don't have to say anything, Just keep caring. I love you

by SmoothCriminal Sun Aug 23, 2009 4:21 am

I have dose days too rachel where im emotional drained and feel like giving up but i keep getting pulled back here and wont let myself give up till i know the truth which may never happen but im willing to wait for as long as i can,you have been the backbone of this forum we need you Smile

take a break and come back when you feel better and have more energy be strong rachel Very Happy

xx

by CantStopLovingU Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:27 am

Yes Rachel, you are like the light of the boards. You go from post to post encouraging everyone, helping to keep things calm, just being sweet.

I think yesterday was particularly hard for alot of us for some reason, and it seems like many of us were crying yesterday, so I definately agree - take a couple of days away - GO GET SOME REST !!

by Smelly Sun Aug 23, 2009 6:58 am

by Another.Part.Of.Me Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:16 am

I agree with everyone Rachel.
You have always been there for us - all the time - I never see you take a break or have a rest or have some 'you' time. You really are the backbone of the forum, and also our own personal backbones, always there supporting us, keeping us going, helping us and making sure that we don't crumple as the days go by. You are there watching over us, taking care of us, wading into the spats and dramas which arise and snuffing them out, you have dedicated a lot of your time and energy into making this place as amazing as it is, and it truly gives us a sense of peace and security which is why we keep coming back.

You are there to uplift, to support and to love and care for all of us without any thought for your own health, and now it is time for us to do the same to you. Take as much time as you need sweetheart, we'll be here waiting for you when you get back.
Rest, heal, recharge your batteries, clear your mind and take care of yourself, Rachel. We love you and we care for you, and we're here for you if you need us, and never hesitate to come to us if you need to unload. You healthy and happy is what we all want, and none of us want to see you unhappy or sad. You are a sister for all of us and we love you.

Take care,
Lots of love,
xxxxx

by summer+sc3nt Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:25 am

Rachel wrote:Hey Guys,

I am so sorry for such a bring down topic but I need to get this out.

I don't think I can do this anymore. Today has been so draining for me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am usually a very strong person and don't get upset too easily but over the last few days I have been so incredibly low. I think I am spending way too much time on here and I try not to come on but I keep been drawn back.

I am tired of certain members constant jibs to other people and it seems the further we get into this the less it becomes about Michael and finding out the truth but more about us and our petty arguments.

I am so sorry for posting and bringing everyone down and I know it's crazy hard right now but I am hoping you guys will be able to lift my spirits before I try and get some much needed sleep.

Thank you.

Hey sweet Rachel.. you've been so strong for us over here. Let us be your strength today. Take a break and if you're on other social sites go there and have a good laugh with some friends that are not on this forum or MJ's fan. That is what I do sometimes... then watch some cartoons believe me sweetie it helps. We'll all be waiting for you over here with open arms. You'll pull yourself together, you'll see. Big (((HUGS))) for you and keep smiling...

by MJJ Love Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:18 am

Hi Rachel,
My friend, I am sorry to read this but I understand. It is a lot to man a forum, that has over 6,000 topics and over 300 members posting. You can only do but so many things love.
You're human just like the rest of us.
I highly respect everything you do for MJ and this forum. You're a very strong lady @ such a young age and your time and effort are truly appreciated.

We do not want you to jeopradize your sane mind, so please take care of yourself and get the needed break you need.

If people cannot seem to act properly, its a shame, but we as adults know how to ignore them. Also, maye some one you trust and shows the same compassion and wiseness like you can maybe moderate for you when you cannot be here. I do not pay any attention to the naysayers or negative ones. I keep it moving.

That's the DEVIL'S GAME... To get you of off of your course, to throw issues in your mind and in your way, to wreck happiness and bring you down.
HE IS A LIAR, AND HE CANNOT AND WILL NOT WIN my friend!

Wishing you all the best my friend.
I am here if ya need me!
** BIG HUGS***

Toni
Toni@AlBSureLove.com

by THE JACKSONOLOGIST Mon Aug 24, 2009 11:32 am

Hi Rach!!

how ya doin girl? You hanging in there? I hope so.....I want you to know I know EXACTLY how you feel. I too have had those down days where I just want to give up the fight for the truth about MJ, but Ive kept going. My work has suffered even.

Take all the time in the world to rest and re-engergise. Dont try and take on too much cus it is very draining, I know. I have never EVER had feelings like Ive had for MJ. Ever. Not even my own boyfriend. There is something about him that we cannot stay away from.
But you must take a break. Take a bath...go out with friends...have a good meal and a few drinks and RELAX. Try not to think about Michael (I know!!)

I hope you are doing ok...I miss you!! *****HUGS****

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